It’s a Tuesday, and I’m cold. The rain is making me depressed, I desire to spill my guts into paper, and my mind is prohibiting me from doing so; stupid mental blocks. I had a wonderful blog story for you all, but decided to postpone that until I am ready to write about Paris & Helen. Their love story hurts my heart, and I’d rather focus on something else outside of the Greek world. So, Water for Elephants anyone? Strange title, I know.
But, there is a reason I chose it.
I connect to soundtracks. When I say connect, I mean full-heartedly, unequivocally, place my emotions into every note, every drum, and every key. Why? Honestly, I cant tell you. I guess its the Piscean in me, but I love listening to soundtracks that are completely instrumental, depending on my mood. And today, it’s Water For Elephants…
Water for Elephants was created by none other than Sara Gruen, who published this solo book in 2006. Her novel hit Hollywood in 2011 and was crafted into one of my favorite movies, starring Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, and Christoph Waltz. If you’ve never seen it, or read it, I highly recommend you give it a go, especially if you enjoy reminiscent, somber, love stories.
Which brings me to how I am feeling today. A little lost… filled with dreams and memories. A blank space. A breath in the void. A blink. A piece out of the puzzle. And yet, I see a light that shines on those moments of singularity. It’s dim at times, but it’s there, in the back of my mind, glistening subtle rays upon my anxiety-riddled heart. I think I would categorize the light as hope. A hope for an outcome. A hope for happy endings. A hope for self satisfaction… and love. I think everyone in their life has experienced an emotion such as the one I am trying to pinpoint. When is the last time you sat alone somewhere and just listened to a song with no words? Eyes closed? Or maybe taking in a landscape? When is the last time you reflected on your age and where you are RIGHT now in life? Are you happy with it?
The story of Jacob in Water For Elephants is compelling to me because he is alone in the end, trying to come back to his roots. Which is how we all tend to feel sometimes, even when we are surrounded by friends & family; you’re completely alone. Though, through it all, you love yourself. You love life. You love others. You do. You did. You grow. And you have no regrets. Or do you?
I think that’s a big question to consider. Is there something you would change? Do over?… I get stuck on this question quite a bit. Music like this, from the soundtrack, really helps me think and tap into my tucked away emotions. Maybe even emotions, I do not necessarily want to feel. It’s also a way to propel my writing for my own novel, short stories, poetry, and even just random thoughts. Music is such a powerful tool, that I will forever be so grateful for. Without it… I believe that we would ignore much of our deeper selves. We would forget more moments. We would create more disconnect between the mind and the heart. And we would lose an outlet to relieve ourselves of pain, sadness, happiness, and fear.
Music causes reflection. Honestly, this post might not even make sense to you, but to me it does, since I am listening to the soundtrack right now and letting my fingers fly on the keyboard. It’s my reflection for the day. I suppose the main thing I wanted to share besides the music, my feelings, the story, or any of that, is:
“Why the hell shouldn’t I run away with the circus?”
― Sara Gruen
Check out my 2 favorite songs from the soundtrack: Gives me the chills every time…
Then, let me know if you take the time to listen, read, or watch the movie. I promise… you wont be disappointed ❤